Unpopular Opinion: Dogs & Dead Fish

My son writes thank you letters.  His recipients include, but are not limited to, dogs & dead fish.

I never really knew what it would take to be a mom, nor the challenges it would throw my way.  I was certainly prepared to get up early, stay up late, make meals, take him places and show him new things.  However, I quickly realized I would need a very unique superpower; I would need to establish a strength to confront the expectation of an arbitrary and societal mom-norm.  I would have to defeat my pre-destined perpetual spin of demanding my son know “how to be a good person” each and every day.

I don’t require my son to write a thank you note for every gift he receives, nor do I ask him to smile politely when he doesn’t discern the need.   I let him guide me far more than I guide him.  He will hate me in his teens just as much as any other teen despises his mom, but he will know I never asked him to do anything beyond his own decision-making.  He will recognize that I never insisted on his discomfort for my personalized comfort gain or absorbed relief-high; he will know that he is full, flawed and human.

This all might be unpopular opinion, I suppose.  So let’s add to that unattractive list:

  1.  Hiking boots and dresses go together.  the perfect fashion mash-up
  2.  Solo-trips are essential.  a once-per-year requirement
  3.  Every song is a love song.  a gift of interpretation
  4.  Time doesn’t exist.  an entirely different blog post
  5.  Sundays are the antidote for exhaustion.  4-hour workouts are my norm

My son has never belonged to me.  He is part of something far greater than I can define for either of us.  My hope is that I invite him to learn a little more about himself each day and that I force myself out of his way so he can take action with his own thoughts and ideas.

I will listen when he is ready; I will help when he is willing.

It is quite-a-love-thing and likely, unpopular opinion.

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